searching for the light within the darkness, seeking the calm within the storm...

sorry for not coming up with anything new, especially if you've been tuning in faithfully to check if this space has been updated. just not been in a good mood lately, with all that proverbial hitting the fan here at home. i'd love to rant in anger about a lot of things, but i guess things done in anger will never get anything done. especially when you never know that the dumbest word you just uttered could be turned against you to remove the ground you're standing on and have you on your knees. remind me to never, ever get involved in a situation where lawyers are involved... unless of course you're already my friend who is a lawyer then i guess it's a different story.

but yeah. things are gonna change around here. i may not like it, but i guess a directive is coming from somewhere up there for some change to take place in this otherwise comfortable life of mine. for better or for worse, i guess it's up to me to decide now. my fate has been decided that such circumstances must be handed onto me and my family to further our education in this lesson called life.

i really hate the injustice and dirty tactics that i've witnessed, how technicalities and words have been exploited to floor an otherwise good man. this shady darkness makes my blood boil and seethe to the bone, yet i am powerless to stop it occurring right in front of my eyes. unfortunately, that's what all systems we live in are like. it's all good and dandy when it's kind to you when you comply with it, but it's the most vindictive, horrible, merciless and bloodthirsty when you fall afoul of it. ah. the vileness and darnkess of humankind. yet...

there is good to be derived from all of this. i may not truly feel it in its entirety yet, but i'm starting to believe that there is a silver lining. it may not be the john proctor ending of going down sticking to your guns as i had envisioned, but at least the crucible of life continues to work. i've seen support pour in from everyone who truly knows us. i've seen the beauty of family and friendship at work in my life. i've seen what true friendship is all about, even when i'm in my darkest moments, consumed with rage and despair. i've come to realize the people who truly do care about me and my family, the ones who are still willing to give a hand or a shoulder of support when the chips are down.

you people know who you are. i don't need to point you out, cos that halo around your head glows more than bright enough to let the whole wide world know who you are. your words of comfort mean the world to me, and i am truly touched by your love and support even when i've felt hopeless and lost.

thank you.