spray o' doom
it's funny when a rather domesticated lad like me takes on the usual household creepy crawlies when they inevitably invade my no-crawl zones. just as i slipped out of my shorts and headed to the cupboard for a new pair of shorts to leave for charismatic prayer group, i had to see something budge behind my hanging towel. instinctively, i grabbed a stack of notes and pulled the bed to the middle of the room, expecting a bloody conflict to unfold. grabbing the nearest loose object, my tube of gel, i attempted to drive the invader out of hiding by flinging it at the towel. no response. just as i start to feel i'm losing it and seeing things, a tiny brown body drops unceremoniously to the floor with a slight splat. a baby lizard.
what happens next is what a typical domesticated singaporean young male who hates handling bugs does to your usual household pest. grabbing the can of shieldtox in my cupboard, i proceded to wage a chemical war upon the hapless reptile of unholy proportions, in a manner even saddam hussein would have been envious of. i unloaded spray after spray of insecticide on the intruder, hoping that it would get the idea and come out and either leave by its own consent or with the assistance of my notes, get bludgeoned to death by the same sheets of paper or just perish quickly in the poisonous clouds of white mist it was being exposed to. unfortunately for the unwitting critter, it chose neither. it kept crawling towards the crevice under my cupboard door, and i continued the pelting it. after about half a can of shieldtox later, the brave gecko succumbed to the horrible torture. even i felt a tinge of guilt for subjecting the poor creature to such a terrible fate. after almost stepping outside clad in only my german football jersey and briefs, i slipped back into my shorts to dispose of the carcass...
from this little escapade, i've learnt a few things. one, i'm too damn domesticated for my own good. it would've been so much easier if i had the guts to pick up the stupid little thing and throw it outside. two, it's incredible how much time and work ridding a lizard can take. thirdly, lizards aren't roaches and will take forever to spray to death. fourthly, invest in proper flyswat... and last but not least, i sure as hell wouldn't wanna be in the poor lizard's webbed feet...
what happens next is what a typical domesticated singaporean young male who hates handling bugs does to your usual household pest. grabbing the can of shieldtox in my cupboard, i proceded to wage a chemical war upon the hapless reptile of unholy proportions, in a manner even saddam hussein would have been envious of. i unloaded spray after spray of insecticide on the intruder, hoping that it would get the idea and come out and either leave by its own consent or with the assistance of my notes, get bludgeoned to death by the same sheets of paper or just perish quickly in the poisonous clouds of white mist it was being exposed to. unfortunately for the unwitting critter, it chose neither. it kept crawling towards the crevice under my cupboard door, and i continued the pelting it. after about half a can of shieldtox later, the brave gecko succumbed to the horrible torture. even i felt a tinge of guilt for subjecting the poor creature to such a terrible fate. after almost stepping outside clad in only my german football jersey and briefs, i slipped back into my shorts to dispose of the carcass...
from this little escapade, i've learnt a few things. one, i'm too damn domesticated for my own good. it would've been so much easier if i had the guts to pick up the stupid little thing and throw it outside. two, it's incredible how much time and work ridding a lizard can take. thirdly, lizards aren't roaches and will take forever to spray to death. fourthly, invest in proper flyswat... and last but not least, i sure as hell wouldn't wanna be in the poor lizard's webbed feet...
greg last trudged in on 1/17/2006 10:05:00 pm
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